Ertu "gay"

1.    If you're over 40 and you still have a 'six-pack' stomach, you're

gay. This can only be because you haven't drunk enough beer with your mates, instead you've spend your free time using leather pants, doing sit-ups, aerobics and followed some trendy diets.

2.    If you have a cat, you're definitely a gay. Cat is like a dog but

gay. It cleans itself all the time, has a gentle touch and it mews to get food. And think about how you call a dog... " Killer, HERE! I said get your rotten arse over here you stupid dog!" And then think how you call a cat...

" Kitty, kitty, come to papa, come, ksss, ksss."  Jesus! You are rightfully categorised as gay!

3.    If you like to suck lollipops, ice-cream etc, you're definitely a

gay. The only thing hetero male sucks is a grilled steak and tits. If you've found yourself thinking of sucking something else, you're gay.

4.    If you refuse to take a shit in a public toilet or having a leak in

a car park, it's possible that you're turning gay. For hetero male the whole world is a toilet!

5.    If you drink anything else than regular coffee, you're gay! Hetero

male is never heard ordering 'latte' or espresso. If at any point in your life you've tasted 'latte' (or any other gay drink) It's sure that your lips have been around something masculine.

6.    If you know more than 6 basic colours, or any other desserts than

cake and ice-cream, you are most definitely gay. Real men have limited places in their memory for these things, meaning that it just covers those mentioned above. If you know what 'chartreuse' or 'fressier' is, you're gay.

Furthermore, if you can name more fabric types than cotton and polyester, you like the brown stuff.

7.    If you drive a car both hands in the steering wheel, you're gay.

Hetero male puts both hand on the steering wheel only to push horn to get rid of slow driving grannies and gays. Otherwise he needs other hand to adjust the stereos, eating hamburger, hold a beer or just lay it on the gear. Note! If your hand rests on the gear for any other reason than changing gears down to accelerate faster, you're gay, because otherwise hand lays only on his own 'gear'.

8.    If you don't send this to everyone you know, because you are afraid

that you might hurt their feelings, guess what... you are GAY!!!